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Adam Lifshitz and I enthusiastically made our way to the burger spot last week Thursday. After only hearing good things about the place, we bantered backwards and forwards about what we imagined it would be like. And it’s not hard to imagine; it’s simple in fact.

There are no staff to see you to a table. The tables are not even numbered. You place your order on a large vinyl painted door with a well used, disappearing piece of chalk and grab a seat. I was instructed by Megan, from behind her burger-making station that if I wanted a tube (of wine- 1.5L) I should add a “T” to my order. So I did and then we sat down at a table where we could see our burgers come to life.

We high-fived each other for arriving at 17h00 on the dot, the time the Dogs Bollocks opens. For any other meal, this would have just seemed over eager but by 17h02 we were second in the queue, not to one but fifteen other burger eaters. Dogs Bollocks make fifty burgers a night. No more, no less, and then they close their corrugated garage door until the next day’s trade.

By 17h30, Dogs Bollocks was humming, and with a really rad bunch of people. It’s hard to think that there is a spot in Cape Town that has not yet been taken over by hipsters! People of all ages grabbed the odd chair or bench, some even stood. Screw the seating arrangements; their primary reason for coming was a bloody good burger of course!

The kitchen may only have four hands but damn do those hands work fast! Within twenty minutes you’re man handling the biggest burger in Cape Town! Adam and I each shared a 1950’s New Yorkers style burger as well as their mushroom burger and if you want my advice, go for the first option, it’s a taste sensation! Needless to say, that those are not their only burger options. You can go black pepper, cheese or even chili if you’re up to it!

Forget plates and cutlery. You’ll get your burger wrapped in paper and a massive knife handed to you, to half the bugger if you ask nicely! Between sips of Nigel’s homemade wine (options of red and white (R45-R50)) and mouthfuls of tender meat, you’ll hardly get a word in sideways. Many more high-fives did go down though between mouthfuls, just the more mushroom-sauced-fingers and bun-powder-covered palms kind! Adam and I were by no means disappointed. This Dogs Bollocks place was worth everything!

One lady looked like she had won a prize when her name was called out to collect her order while another table sat focused, cutting their burger into four. Yes, that’s how big they are!

So here’s the deal; get there at 17h00 sharp. You can’t book so punctuality will stand in your favour here. Bring your own beers if you wish. Nigel just says you have to bring one for him and Megan then too! You can go on any day except Sundays and go ravenously hungry; you’ll still roll out of there.

“Thanks Nigel”, I shouted to him above the noise when leaving. But he didn’t hear me. He was too busy making one of Cape Town’s fifty best burgers for the night!

We're looking forward to Dogs Bollocks joining forces with Deluxe Coffeeworks to offer a day time service of breakfast, sandwiches and coffee!